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Ferrari boss hits out at slow cars

June 17, 2010 Leave a comment

Report by Autosport

Ferrari president Luca di Montezemolo has renewed his attack on Formula 1’s slowest cars – claiming that if outfits are not quick enough they should not even be allowed to take part in grands prix.

After seeing Fernando Alonso’s chances of victory in the Canadian Grand Prix wrecked when, on two separate occasions, he lost time and momentum behind backmarkers, di Montezemolo has again hit out at the backmarkers.

“Cars who perform at GP2-level should not be allowed to participate in F1 races because they are supposed to race on Sunday mornings,” di Montezemolo was quoted as saying by Gazzetta dello Sport.

“Our car’s race pace was good enough for victory. Let’s hope that, in the future, there won’t be mistakes in pushing a button nor in lapping cars that put us at a disadvantage, because we’ve already gone though that.”

Di Montezemolo has said on several occasions that F1 would be better off allowing the big teams to run three cars, rather than bringing in new competitors to boost the grid.

In response to what Di Montezemolo has crapped out of his mouth this time…

And that is all that I have to say.

(Does this man EVER stop sputtering such nonsense? I can’t believe I used to support this man and his team.)

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“We really, really, reeeeaaaaally want a third car! Pleeease?”

May 25, 2010 Leave a comment

From Autosport:

Ferrari has expressed a keen desire to tie up with an American team in the near future if it can see through its idea to allows teams to provide a third car.

Ferrari is yammering about the whole “we want a third car” thing again! Has any other team ever expressed interest in that? I don’t think so. I think some were actually against it, if I recall correctly.

So what happens if the third car rule never happens? Will Ferrari NOT help any Americans in F1 or what? What a strange group, they are. I’m certainly happy to be on the Mercedes train now, let me tell you! There’s a lot less of this foolishness for sure.

Schumacher’s Penalty

May 17, 2010 Leave a comment

The Monaco Grand Prix finished under the safety car, yet Schumacher decided to pass Alonso for position, finishing 6th rather than 7th. Everyone condemned him for passing when he isn’t supposed to, myself included.

But then…

Around the time that Schumacher is handed a 20 second penalty, dropping him to 12th, word flies across the internet that Schumacher made the pass because a green flag was deployed. That’s right, the flag that indicates that the race is on was waved. Schumacher did exactly what anyone would do. He saw green, so he made a move on Alonso.

Many people are now against the penalty due to the whole green flag aspect of this interesting situation. This same people are criticizing the FIA for penalizing Schumacher while Felipe Massa, who mucked with the rules in both qualifying and the race, was not even spoken to. Massa broke two safety regulations while Schumacher did nothing wrong, due to the green flag being out.

It makes you stop and wonder, doesn’t it? Schumacher was a victim of circumstance it seems, while Ferrari continues to avoid the wrath of the FIA.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the little Frenchman running the show now?

Oh Ferrari, you certainly do amuse me!

May 7, 2010 Leave a comment

About a week or two ago, international doctors started making a stink about the barcode on the side of the Ferraris.

They wanted clarification on what the image represented, and an investigation to determine whether or not the barcode was a form of subliminal advertising for Marlboro cigarettes was also suggested. Ferrari was not pleased with this, and here is what they had to say.

Today and in recent weeks, articles have been published relating to the partnership contract between Scuderia Ferrari and Philip Morris International, questioning its legality.

These reports are based on two suppositions: that part of the graphics featured on the Formula 1 cars are reminiscent of the Marlboro logo and even that the red colour which is a traditional feature of our cars is a form of tobacco publicity.

Neither of these arguments have any scientific basis, as they rely on some alleged studies which have never been published in academic journals. But more importantly, they do not correspond to the truth.

The so-called barcode is an integral part of the livery of the car and of all images coordinated by the Scuderia, as can be seen from the fact it is modified every year and, occasionally even during the season. Furthermore, if it was a case of advertising branding, Philip Morris would have to own a legal copyright on it.

The partnership between Ferrari and Philip Morris is now only exploited in certain initiatives, such as factory visits, meetings with the drivers, merchandising products, all carried out fully within the laws of the various countries where these activities take place. There has been no logo or branding on the race cars since 2007, even in countries where local laws would still have permitted it.

The premise that simply looking at a red Ferrari can be a more effective means of publicity than a cigarette advertisement seems incredible: how should one assess the choice made by other Formula 1 teams to race a car with a predominantly red livery or to link the image of a driver to a sports car of the same colour? Maybe these companies also want to advertise smoking!

It should be pointed out that red has been the recognised colour for Italian racing cars since the very beginning of motor sport, at the start of the twentieth century: if there is an immediate association to be made, it is with our company rather than with our partner.

To those unfamiliar with this situation, Ferrari may have a good argument. However…

“The so-called barcode is an integral part of the livery of the car and of all images coordinated by the Scuderia, as can be seen from the fact it is modified every year and, occasionally even during the season. Furthermore, if it was a case of advertising branding, Philip Morris would have to own a legal copyright on it.”

Ferrari is saying that the barcode is a Ferrari design, then. That it is their own creation, a Ferrari invention. Alright, then would they care to explain what I am looking at on the Moto GP Ducati bike?

Now why would a design by Ferrari appear on a Ducati bike? In the same location where Ducati used to have Marlboro logos displayed? Hmm, very interesting!

According to Ferrari president Luca di Montezemolo, this entire situation is “verging on ridiculous” and he heavily insists that red is a Ferrari colour. Yes Luca, it is. However, people are not questioning the colour of the Ferrari, or the red that surrounds and fills this peculiar barcode design. It is that very design itself that people are curious about, as it appears on all Marlboro sponsored bikes and cars that are not permitted to display cigarette brand icons, logos, and names.

You would have to be dense as a brick to not realize that the barcode is a Philip Morris invention and is used to exclusively represent Marlboro. While it’s kind of hard to look at the barcode and see cigarette advertising, it’s impossible to ignore what the barcode really is once you know that it is the mark of a cigarette company.

Despite Ferrari’s stance, they decided to remove the barcode yesterday.

Together with Philip Morris International we have decided to modify the livery of our cars starting with the Barcelona Grand Prix.

This decision was taken in order to remove all speculation concerning the so-called ‘barcode’ which was never intended to be a reference to a tobacco brand.

By this we want to put an end to this ridiculous story and concentrate on more important things than on such groundless allegations.

So now they actually admit that the barcode is Philip Morris’ doing, but they say that it has nothing to do with advertising cigarettes? Make up your minds, Ferrari.

So, what did they replace the barcode with? It’s funny, actually.

The image speaks for itself, doesn’t it? I don’t think I need to say anything! Just wow, Ferrari. Wow. All one has to do is look at a Ferrari livery from approximately ten years ago to realize that this is a massive step back.

I have a feeling that this isn’t over yet . Not by a long shot.

This week in F1

April 28, 2010 Leave a comment

Three week breaks between races are almost unbearable. They drag on and on, and I wonder how I manage to keep myself sane. During these breaks, I entertain my F1 obsession by reading the news. Here are a few things making news which I found interesting and have summarized.

Gerard Lopez decided to shake the F1 world with a comment of epic magnitude. He stated something that has never been thought of by anyone. Ever. Gerard had the balls to say that… Robert Kubica… Could be world champion one day. Wow Gerard, you’re just regurgitating a fact that everyone has known for what, two or three years? Kubica is a true force to be reckoned with. Considering the fact that he has never driven an “appropriate” top tier car and almost won the championship once already is pretty telling. If he ever gets his hands on a Ferrari or McLaren, then I will fully expect him to win the championship immediately. I’m completely serious, I don’t joke about Kubica’s talent. He’s a beast!

Fernando Alonso has had his thumbs insured for ten million euros by Santander. Avoiding the fact Santander’s CEOs clearly have some kind of uncontrollable lust for Alonso, I found this to be incredibly shocking. Ten million euros if he hurts his precious little thumbs! If I break a thumb (which is unlikely since I’m yet to break a bone, let alone sprain anything), I’ll just get a few days off work. I guess it helps to be rich.

Stefan GP wants to enter F1 in 2011. While I supported their efforts to get on the grid this year (but only due to a certain Jacques Villeneuve), I find myself not really caring at this point. Stefanovic apparently has some kind of criminal connections and he also did a fantastic job of pissing off the FIA. Things basically went like this earlier in the year.
FIA: Sorry Stefanovic, but you’re not allowed to hang around with us.
Stefan: Well if you won’t give me permission, then I’ll just do it anyway!
And so they did! Stefan shipped their supplies to Bahrain and Australia just because they were convinced they would be on the grid, even before USF1 dropped out. Well, when USF1 did in fact drop out, the FIA refused to grant Stefan entry. Several weeks later and Toyota had to clean up Stefan’s mess by retreiving the shipping containers that the ambitious Serbian team sent all over the place. Now, why would the FIA ever want these guys on the grid? Maybe if a rogue pirate overthrows Jean Todt they might have a chance, but they certainly don’t at the moment!

Kimi Raikkonen is not dismissing the idea of returning to Formula One next year, or at least that’s what I’ve read… For the twentieth time. I can’t be the only one getting tired of these articles. It seems to be a biweekly tradition for one to suddenly appear on Autosport, GP Update, or some other site. Kimi has already made it very clear what his plans are, so maybe these journalists should respect his decision and also take Kimi’s advice and go take a shit.

Mark Webber: Man of Many Faces

April 27, 2010 1 comment

Few people are able to deny that Mark Webber is a very expressive person. Many photographers snap Mark as he does indeed express himself, deep and profound emotions etched onto his face. I have gathered several of these thought provoking images so that those who happen to stumble upon this blog can be treated to a great surprise – Mark Webber in his element.

Here are the photos.

If his Formula One career flops, or when he retires, I suspect that the ideal occupation for Mark Webber would be mime. With an expressive face like that? You bet your bottom! Don’t let this talent go to waste, Mark. Maybe you could even be the next Mr. Bean!

But if mime or Mr. Bean imitations don’t work out for Mark, he can always try something else… Such as singing.

… Or not.

Disclaimer: No, I don’t dislike Mark. He’s actually quite a cool guy, I think. Sometimes he is a little too aggressive on the track, but you can’t really get too upset over that since the man’s just trying to do his job. So, I like Mark. I also like his driving. Most importantly though, I really like his funny faces and I really hope that he keeps providing photographers with more of them in the future!

Files from the Flash Drive: Murrayisms

April 26, 2010 Leave a comment

While browsing my flash drive, which I do quite often, I found a text document containing a collection of Murrayisms.

For those who do not know, a “Murrayism” is an amusing (and usually factual incorrect) quip made by former BBC and ITV F1 commentator Murray Walker. He was a legend of a commentator, having been the voice of Formula One for many years. Whether you love him or hate him, you can’t forget him.

Here are the Murrayisms that I’ve been storing.

(Adelaide 1986, Mansell’s tire blow-out) “[Rosberg] may have been prepared to move over… (tire explodes) AAAAAND LOOK AT THAT!!!! Out, and… and collossaly… that’s Mansell!!! THAT IS NIGEL MANSELL!!!! And the car absolutely shattered… he’s fighting for control… you can see what happened… that’s Mansell out of the race. Now, this could change and will change the world championship.”

“Anything can happen in Formula 1, and it usually does.”
A catchphrase which he frequently used.

“The car in front is absolutely unique – except for the one behind it, which is identical.”

“He’s obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I can’t see it.”

“With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go”

“Jenson (Button) will win, when the car is good enough for his talent.” – free practice, Silverstone 2006

“Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna’s Lotus sounding rough?”

“Alboreto has dropped back up to fifth place.”

“[Mansell’s] gone from seventh to sixth, from fourth to fifth and now to third…”

“As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is 5th.”

“I can’t imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem.”

“He is shedding buckets of adrenaline in that car.”

“It’s raining and the track is wet.”

“And there’s just a few more corners for Nigel Mansell to go to win the Canadian Grand Prix…and…he’s going rather slow….HE’S STOPPING! HE’S STOPPING!” – on the last lap of the 1991 Canadian Grand Prix

“And this is the third placed car about to lap the second placed car…”

Murray: “That’s Ralf Schumacher, you can see the cooling elements from his balaclava helmet sticking out over his forehead.” (he keeps talking then realises…) “They’re not the cooling elements – ” (laughing) “that’s his hair!”
Martin Brundle is bemused: “I can’t think of a one-liner to come back in there, Murray!”
Murray: “Neither can I, except ‘What am I saying?!'”
(Malaysian Grand Prix 2001)

“They say clothes maketh the man… the clothes are Niki Lauda’s, but the contents are me…”
Said when preparing to take a drive in a F1 car. Walker subsequently stalled the engine. (Apparently, this was the second attempt to film Murray in an F1 McLaren – the first, earlier that day, had gone very well, but for technical reasons couldn’t be used as the onboard camera was not fixed when he thought another signal was the signal to go, almost obliterating a cameraman. When he came in after the end of his successful run, he drove for seven laps after the in-board was displayed!)

“…Senna knows exactly where Mansell is because he can him in his earphones…”
Attempting to describe how the leader can see the driver following him in his mirrors.

“So Bernie [Ecclestone], it’s some seventeen years since you bought McLaren, you’ve had some good times, you’ve had some bad times. What do you remember best ?”
Ecclestone responded “Well I don’t remember buying McLaren.”
Murray turns to the camera “I’ve done it again!”

“What’s that? There’s a BODY on the track!!!”
James Hunt responded “Um, I think that that is a piece of BODY-WORK, from someone’s car.”

“There’s a fiery glow coming from the back of the Ferrari”
James Hunt responded “No, Murray, that’s his rear safety light”.

Murray: And look at the flames coming from the back of Berger’s McLaren.
James: Actually, Murray, they’re not flames, it’s the safety light.

“Nigel (Mansell), first of all, would you slowly and carefully take your hat off? You’ve got an enormous bump on your head, can I show it to them (the viewers)?” [Nigel leans forward to show the camera] “Right up there?” [Murray accidentally pokes the bump with his finger] “Ooh… I’m sorry…” [A pained Nigel laughs it off]
During a post race interview with Mansell after the Austrian GP in 1987.

From the Spanish GP 1995: “and Eddie Jordan is in fifth place”… (actually Eddie Irvine in one of his compatriot Eddie Jordan’s cars).
“…and he’s lost both right front tyres” (which may have been accurate back in the days of the Tyrrell P34, but it was from 1995!)

“…Cruel luck for Alesi, second on the grid. That’s the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year…”

James: “And now what’s wrong with Prost’s car?”
Murray: “It’s not Prost’s car it’s that joker in the striped shirt!”

“Ah! Now here’s Senna in the pits (for the black flag). No point in saying I wish I could lip read: I can’t even see his lips! There’s Ron Dennis bending over at the right. This is A-! Out gets Senna! For whatever reason and I just hope we can get a message about this. I hope we can get a message. Ayrton Senna with, with rage and impotent fury etched in every line of his body, reluctantly drags himself out of the McLaren.” (In reality Senna calmly stepped out of the car and walked away.)

“Well let’s, uh, lugsh, luxurrriate in a little hypothesis and try to work out what, if anything, is wrong with Alain Prost.” (Prost was being caught by Berger late in the race.) “Has he got tire problems? Very unlikely. Is Prost having fuel trouble? Well, who knows? I think it’s a bit unlikely. Is Prost having gearbox trouble? I can’t tell you. And since P, uh, Prost is unlikely to come on the radio and let me know you’ll have to guess along with me.”

“ANNDD! We have a, uh, I – (laughing) – I, uh, I’m S- (still laughing). I have to eat humble pie again, for all the people out there. Uh, we have a lap scoring problem and, uh, I have to rather lamely tell you that, uh, it’s still Gerhard Berger in 2nd place. It’s Berger in 3rd position. In four- in- in-. Um, Boutsen in 3rd position…”

“That’s 55 laps completed by both Prost and Berger and and and and and the expeeerrrienced Alain Prost is really responding.”

“And there’s the man in the green flag!”

“The Jordan factory is at the factory gates”

“…and there’s no damage to the car…..except to the car itself.”

“The beak of Ayrton Senna’s chicken is pulling ahead”

“David pulls across in front of Coulthard…” (actually Mika Hakkinen at the start of the 1998 Australian GP)

“and I interrupt myself to bring you this….”

“Unless I’m very much mistaken… and YES I AM very much mistaken!”

“This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines, and not just up, but down as well.”

“Two laps to go and then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is.”

“This has been a great season for Nelson Piquet, as he is now known, and always has been”

“And the first five places are filled by five different cars.” (Teams of course)

“…the lead is now 6.9 seconds. In fact it’s just under 7 seconds”

“Tambay’s hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now.”

“You can’t see a digital clock because there isn’t one.”

“…and Blundell is doing very well in sixth position…in fact he’s lapping 2.5 seconds faster than Blundell who is in fifth position”

“We’re watching the Finnish Driver who is third, but he won’t for very much llllong…oh yeah, he might be actually”

“And an enormous gap building before Mika Hakkinen goes through in third position…when I say enormous it’s 1.5 seconds”

“Schumacher is still the fastest man on the track, not only by virtue of the fact that he leads the Australian Grand Prix, but he also holds the fastest lap”

“Eddie Irvine with smoke pouring up from the eng…I suspect something’s locked up and he’s out of the race”

“And Alesi spins there…spins out of the race, surely… “Yes!…NO! Alesi manages to keep the engine, does not stall, but of course he will have lost the place I think. No! he’s kept the place”

“Yes, the beauty of this race is that it is totally unpredictable”

“Michael Schumacher leading Damon Hill by four tenths of a second or so, because it’s moving…[image cuts from Mansell to Hill under Schu’s rear wing] AND THAT’S NOT FOUR TENTHS OF A SECOND! That’s Michael Schumacher!”

“The Italian GP at Monaco…”

“I’m applying intelligence and observation to the situation…”

“Schumacher’s appeal for ignoring the chequered flag is next Tuesday.”

“…the enthusiastic enthusiasts…” (Italy 1994)

“Martin’s got a bald spot – he won’t be pleased…” (Germany, 1994, as Brundle retires, and climbs out of the car. Murray stops talking about the broken McLaren as soon as he sees Martin’s head)

“…and Andretti is going very slowly – he must have an electrical problem of some sort… “(Andretti is touring on three wheels, having hit something solid)

“…but Here is Now and There is Damon Hill”

“So now you’re looking at the battle between Frentzen and Herbert for 7th place. Heinz Harald Frentzen in the Sauber Mercedes behind Johnny Herbert, behind him Johnny Herbert in his first race in the Ligier Renault…”

“Ukyo Katayama is undoubtedly the best Formula 1 driver that grand prix racing has ever produced’

“…and the Peugeot cup of misery is filled past overflowing…”

Murray: “And there are flames coming from the back of Prost’s car as he enters the swimming pool.”
James: “Well, that should put them out then.”

“Alesi is in second place and Hill is in second place…”

“As you can see, visually, with your eyes…”

“Andrea de Cesaris…the man who has won more Grands Prix than anyone else without actually winning one of them.”

“And why would they want a bigger rear wing? Because a bigger rear wing means more downforce, more downforce means more grip, more grip means more transmission…”

“Well done Ukyo, well done Ukyo, you are a Japanese gentleman!” [as Katayama got out of the way for Schumacher and Villeneuve, Jerez 1997]

“Oh that’s the Forti, and, it looks like, err, its Roberto Moreno’s car , the err Brazilian .. I was going to say the elderly Brazilian , he’s only 36 but he’s actually the oldest driver in the race at the present moment, though he’s just retired from it!”

“Hill, Hill … Hill is in, he’s beneath me now… and he’s got slicks! It’s slicks! He got a new set of slicks! This is strange” (as it was raining!)

“….Schumacher crosses the line to start another lap, and there’s nothing there!”

“The Benetton handling superbly as ever. Williams have worked very very ####### this car at the beginning of the season.”

“And we have had 5 races so far this year, Brazil, Argentina, Imola, Schumacher and Monaco!”

“And Damon Hill is coming into the pit lane, yes it’s Damon Hill coming into the Williams pit, and Damon Hill in the pit, no it’s Michael Schumacher!”

“…and now, just in case there is any CONFUSION (operative term here) this is the race order on lap 19: David Coulthard leads and has yet to stop; Hakkinen leads and has yet to stop…”

“A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play” [The long-standing rumour that Murray actually wrote this legendary slogan is completely false. He says himself that he “was responsible for the administration of what is probably one of the best known slogans of them all”, whatever that means…]

“Nigel Mansell – the man of the race – the man of the day – the man from the Isle of Man”

“An Achilles heel for the McLaren team this year, and it’s literally the heel because it’s the gearbox”

“And now the boot is on the other Schumacher”

“The atmosphere is so tense you could cut it with a cricket stump”

“Alain Prost is in a commanding second place”

“Now the Frenchman Jacques Lafitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to Lafitte.”

“I don’t make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong” [Murray on his style of commentary]

“I am inclined to go over the top and I know it. I am communicating an electric situation”

“I like to think I come over as a slightly over-the-top enthusiast. It is a very exciting sport after all”

[after Derek Warwick spun at Monaco ending up facing the wrong way…] “Now he must not go the wrong way round the circuit, and unless he can spin himself stationary through 360 degrees I fail to see how he can avoid doing so.”

[possibly Murray’s most ecstatic moment when Mansell passed Senna to win in Hungary after starting well down the grid] “He’s going for it! OH MY GOODNESS…HE’S THROOOOOOUGH!!!”

“We’re now on the 73rd lap and the next one will be the 74th.” [Monaco 1992]

“James has just nipped out to have a look at the far side of the circuit” [Actually James Hunt would leave the commentary box to smoke a joint!]

“If they have any shillelaghs in Suzuka, they’ll be playing them tonight.” [after Eddie Irvine’s 6th place in his first grand prix]

“He’s watching us from hospital with his injured knee.”

“In his quieter moments he sounds like his trousers are on fire” [Clive James on Murray Walker]

“Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh no he isn’t! It’s a lap record.”

“It’s not quite a curve, it’s a straight actually.”

“Victory at the 1999 Monaco Grand Prix goes to Ayrton Senna” [from the 1990 Monaco GP]

[hysterical as ever] “And that’s Alboreto OFF!” [long pause – somber voice] “Now Michele Alboreto did not in fact qualify for the race, so how we managed to see him go off I don’t know. We’ll let you know.” [Even longer pause, now laughing] “Now I’m not a technician, but it appears a shot of Michele Alboreto going off in qualifying has crept into this live transmission, thank you Mr. Producer, anyway that was qualifying, this is the race…”

[Alesi, then in a Tyrrell, was passed by Senna at Phoenix, or was he…] “And Senna’s going through on the inside, or is he, YES!, but now Alesi has the inside, side by side, Alesi! Wow! Great Stuff!”

“..and Damon Hill is following Damon Hill”

“Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th”

“Schumacher has made his final stop three times!”

“And he has been lapped 9th, 10th, 11th'” (This was in reference to Jacques Villeneuve, who was leading at the time, and there were only 11 cars running anyway!)

“Nigel Mansell had a problem with the wheel-nut on his Williams, then he went on to win brilliantly for Ferrari!”

Jacques Villeneuve is just making the last turn on the last lap. “I’m going to stick my neck out here and say that Jacques Villeneuve is going to keep the Ferrari of Michael Schumacher behind him and win his first GP…”

“And the car upside down is a Toyota” [During a BTCC race. At the time, Toyota were using the slogan “The car in front is a Toyota”; in this race, both works Toyotas took each other out…]

“It has all come alive in Hungary. There is the proof! Williams! Benetton! Ferrari! The Benetton is Berger and the Ferrari is Damon Hill!”

“And Damon Hill is going under the drier part of the Monaco circuit, that’s of course because it’s got a roof”

“Look at Michael Schumacher. He’s on the ragged edge between flying off the track and staying off it.”

“And that just shows you how important the car is in Formula One racing”

“I know it’s an old cliché, but you can cut the atmosphere with a cricket stump”

“And Olivier Panis justifiably wins such a well deserved Grand Prix” (in which Hill, Schumacher, Alesi, Berger and Villeneuve all came off and only 4 out of 20 drivers finished)

“People ask me who’s going to be the next Hill, the next Schumacher, and I keep saying to watch out for Mika Salo” (Salo crashes a few laps later)

(Schumacher is coming out the pit lane ahead of Villeneuve) “And Schumacher overtakes Villeneuve. Oh, no he doesn’t! Oh, yes he does!”

“Stop! Stop! Look! Look! It’s a Williams, and I’m guessing that’s Jacques Villeneuve, I can’t tell you for sure because I can’t see from here. And so Villeneuve retires …. it’s Hill! Damon Hill is out of the Monza Grand Prix!”

“They’re now on lap 68, which means there’s one, two, three, four, five laps to go before the end of the Hungarian Grand Prix” (hey, kids, learn to count with Murray…..)

“And he’s done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures”.

“Into lap 53, the penultimate last lap but one”

“Nigel Mansell is the last person in the race apart from the five in front of him.”

“Alboreto into the pits and I’m going to stop the startwatch…!”

“And Hill congratulates Schumacher. They’re not bosom buddies, but they’re not far off!” (Hill was actually critising Schumacher for heavy-handed driving tactics after the 1995 Belgian GP).

“There goes Panis in the Prost. For years we knew them as Ligiers, because that is what they were called.”

“And I usually say that if anything is going to go wrong with the car, it has done by now, but I’m not going to say that about Jacques Villeneuve…. Oh, I already have”. (Brazil 1997)

“And Michael Schumacher is in the pits!” (he was out by then, although he was probably in the garage or something.)

Murray: There’s a car coming into the pits now, they’re so unreliable with all those electronics on board.
James: Actually, Murray, one of his wheels has just fallen off!

“And this is Ralf Schumacher the youngest driver in F1 at only 21 years old, and of course he is the son of twice world champion Michael!” (PF: Any rumours that Mick Schumacher already has a GP2 drive are entirely false, of course! And Ralf is Michael’s younger brother, not son.)

Monza 96. Remember those stupid tyre stacks on the kerbs which got scattered around the track on the first lap? Camera cuts to single tyre in the middle of the track. Murray:” And look at that tyre! Someone had better go and get that quickly. (As if on cue, a marshall runs out and grabs it) WELL DONE LAD!!!!!”

“Heinz-Harald Frentzen. The man with all the luck, and it’s all bad.” (Qualifying Imola 97)

Murray: Eddie Irvine is in the pit lane.
Camera flashes to an empty Ferrari pit with mechanics milling about. Martin: “I think he … ahh … didn’t come in.” A little later when it was obvious (to Murray) that Eddie didn’t come in. “We all make mistakes, and I certainly made a whopper there.”

[Camera focused on a Williams in its pitstop] “Bitter hard luck for Nigel Mansell-” [Mansell’s Lotus flashes by in the pitlane] “There he is! That was Mansell leaving the pits, and so now… [Camera cuts to Mansell in his own pitstop] And there is Nigel Mansell in the pits…so I must have seen… Well I can hardly understand it… Oh, he must have been entering the pits, I apologise!”

Near the end. “He (Jackie Stewart) will not produce a winner, but if he can produce second, it will be the next best thing.”

“…and if you look back 4 seconds…no, 31 seconds…!” (Imola, 27th. April 1997)

“And Panis is almost literally laughing his head off in that car.”

“If I was Michael Schumacher…. which of course I am not…”

“And the track temperature has in fact risen in degrees!”

“Well he’s world champion, and we only get one of those a year.”

“And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn’t surprising as this is an all Escort race”

“I should imagine that the conditions in the cockpit are unimaginable!”

“Well, that is amazing, but I fear, absolutely… predictable!”

“And as the race starts… I regret that we must leave Brands Hatch, join us again at 4.45!”

“Three lights… four lights… five laps… (laughs) pause! Go, Go, Go!”

“As an Englishman, I have my fingers crossed for Eddie Irvine in the Jaguar.” (Irvine comes from Northern Ireland)

“Michael Schumacher is scything his way through the field… (Schumacher crashes) OOHHHHH! Schumacher out of the race!” (Canada 1999)

“And this will be Williams’ first win, since last time a Williams won!”

“Jenson Button, in the top ten, is in eleventh position…”

(Jarno Trulli was on the screen, but just as Murray opened his mouth, it cut to his Jordan team-mate Heinz-Harald Frentzen)
Murray: Jarno Trulli… there’s a man who is yet to show his potential this year.
Martin: So that’s Trulli wearing Frentzen’s crash helmet, Murray?

“There are actually seven previous winners of the Monaco Grand Prix, starting in tomorrow’s race, and four of them are Michael Schumacher… there he is now!”

“Are they on a one-stopper, are they on a two-stopper? And when I say who… er, they… er.. who do I mean? Well, I don’t know…”

“‘Will it rain?’, said Jim Rosenthal. Well Murray Walker says ‘Yes it will’… but then maybe it won’t!”

“Now, if Alesi has run out of fuel – and I’m going to use an Anglo-Saxon expression here – the Benetton mechanics are looking AB-SO-LUTE-LY FUUUURRRIOUS!”

“Oh Jean. O-o-h Jean. You have got a MAJOR problem sunshine when you get back to the pits”

“Damon Hill, there he is, he in… er, leading the Belgian Grand Prix, for the first time in a Jordan! He’s leading the race, for the first time, since he led the Hungarian Grand Prix (of 1997) in an Arrows… apart from his earlier lead here, of course!” (It was actually the second time Damon had taken the lead after Michael Schumacher crashed out. You could just see that coming…)

“Now, for real spectacular driving… watch this!” (Car flips over)

“And now, excuse me while I interrupt myself.”

“It must be Barrichello, it must be Barrichello .. no no, it’s Schumacher!!! It’s Schumacher!!! Oh my goodness!!! Michael Schumacher is out of the German Grand Prix!!!”

(Adelaide 1991, race stopped in appalling conditions) “Oh… hello-hello? That’s Riccardo Patrese, going up to tell the officials what the time of day is!”

“And Damon Hill exits the chicane and wins the Japanese Grand Prix, and I’ve got to stop, because I’ve got a lump in my throat!”
As his good friend Damon Hill finally won the Driver’s Championship, Murray Walker could no longer contain his delight.

Monza 1992: “Mansell is 7.3 seconds ahead of Nigel Mansell and Berger is in 13th place…”

Monza 1988 (about the McLarens): “Smooth… and very reliable.” (Commentator’s Curse strikes half a lap afterwards, when Prost’s engine develops a problem)

Adelaide 1995 (as Coulthard pits): “And into the pitlane… (Coulthard understeers into the pitlane barrier) OOAAARRRGGGHHH! My goodness! David Coulthard smashes himself out of the Australian- I have never seen that before!”

Nurburgring 1995 (on Délétrazs antics): “And what is Délétraz doing? (pause) Doesn’t matter what he’s doing, it’s what Alesi and Schumacher are doing that matters.”

“But a brrrrrrilliant race for Michael Schumacher, who exits the chicane for the 53rd and last time, to win the 2000 Japanese Grand Prix and the World Championship, for the third time, to give Ferrari and Italy that dream and look! Look! He knows it!” As Schumacher wins the Japanese Grand Prix with title challenger Mika Hakkinen just two seconds behind.

To top it off, here is a YouTube video showcasing some of Murray’s best moments.

I have also made a page on this blog specifically for Murray’s quotes because yes, they are just that great.